Significance

I sit here in my office at New Life Baptist Church, just like I do every day Monday-Thursday, and reflect on my significance.

Reflect on if what I'm doing is significant. Is my church significant? Is my student ministry significant? Are my students aspiring to & becoming significant?

I desperately want to be significant. To do something significant. Or least participate in something significant.

And now that I've used that word 8 times, let me refrain from being redundant & thus making use of the word insignificant.

Nonetheless, I have a passion for big things. To start or be apart of a social movement. Or create art & music that inspires people. And sometimes those things entrap me. I get caught up in the image of what those things look like & represent & then begin to envy those things. To want them. To want to be a cool indie/granola looking guy that works for TOMS shoes & creates sounds like Sufjan Stevens.

Which can be a big bummer for a bald one-armed guy living in the middle of Arkansas who has very little instrumental ability. Pretty easy to feel insignificant in light of my worldly desires to be something more.

BUT, I realize that my envy for those things is not of the Lord. That my envy carries a lot of MY selfish desires & MY goals for ME. And my heart for those things is not with God's will/plan in mind at all - but mine. And that's sinful of me.

However, I ALSO realize that the Lord has indeed called me to BE & DO something BIG. Not so I can work at some cool company or ministry, but so that I can make HIM significant. So I can make Him BIG. My favorite verse in the entire Bible is John 3:30, which states "He must become greater; I must become less." And I try to live with that verse in mind every day. To make Him more. To make Him bigger than myself.

To make Jesus Lord of my life, Lord of my plans, Lord of my ministry & Lord of my students.

I read a quote by Rick Warren today: "Never envy a significant place of service. Make the place you serve significant."

I realize my significance is based upon His significance in my life. And my heart yearns to be small in light of Jesus & His call on my life. And I'm STILL inspired to be significant. But not go somewhere else & be someone else to do it.

But to do it NOW. Do it HERE. And do it all to make Jesus BIG in my life & my ministry.

JV